Christians Attend Church On Easter, Completely Oblivious To Washington DC Policies

All across America, indviduals are going to church, completely unbothered by policies passed in Washington DC. They have determined that, "Christ is King," and that focusing too much on Biden's attempts to discourage and demoralize Christians is not a productive strategy.

"This year we turned off Fox News, canceled our newspaper subscriptions, deleted our Facebook accounts, and shockingly feel closer to God than ever," A churchgoer in Paris, Tennessee named Deloris Shumplejones told the Bugle.

Shumplejones appears to not be alone as many individuals are identifying how Satan is using the mass media to make them feel bad and try to separate them from God and the their Christian communities.

Pastor James Winchester from Atlanta, Georgia told the Bugle, "The only reason why we chose to make the members of our church sit at home and watch livestreams, and then come back and wear masks was because of the media amplifying all these horrible people in Washington DC. Us Christians are tired of being lied to and that's all you get from the media."

This Easter marks one of the biggest losses for the kingdom of darkness as Christians everywhere are waking up, spending time with family, and going to church to celebrate the resurrection of their King. They are throwing off the shackles of CIA mind control, completely forgetting about politics in order to focus on gratitude, love, and a nice brunch with family and friends after the service.

"The TV doesn't do the thinking for me, the Bible does and my life is better as a result of it," Deloris Shumplejones ensured the Bugle.

Church is not the place for psychological operations.

Happy Easter from the Bugle!