As the jury decision was read to a packed courtroom of eager reporters and clicking cameras, SBF, the once famed effectively altruistic vegan, sank further and further into his chair. The verdict was returned and the room breathed a long sigh, guilty on all seven counts. Judge Gracie Mercy, renowned
In a surprising turn of events, a man from Essex, UK has become incredibly wealthy after being bullied into buying Bitcoin. Tom Henry, the man in question, says he was sick of his friends and family constantly telling him to "have fun staying poor." It was his wife,
In a bombshell revelation that has rocked the world of Bitcoin and social media influencers, Elon Musk has been unmasked as the secret father of multiple Bitcoin influencer babies including those belonging to Justine, Katie the Russian, and Internet Sophie. This shocking scandal has sent waves through the internet, leaving
1. @CarlaBitcoin has been Having Unprotected Sex Your favorite wig wearing, hard money enthusiast has been getting laid way more than you in the bear market. Insider sources (thanks Walker), say that Carla has been having, "Some of the best sex of her life, like incredible, absolutely mind blowing
[Austin, TX] - Eco activists from Greenpeace have taken their fight against cryptocurrency mining to new and uncomfortably hot heights. Two activists recently barricaded themselves inside the hot aisles of Bitdeer, a Chinese firm with operations outside of Austin, Texas. As confusion reigned among the Chinese employees as to what
Ukraine, a nation nestled somewhere between Russia and the Black Sea, is making waves on the global stage once again. President Zelenskyy, known for his eccentricities and outlandish statements, and likelihood to dance mostly nude, was recently caught off guard by a hot mic that recorded an unexpected conversation. In
In a series of revelations surprising nobody, former Compass CEO, Whit Gibbs has returned to Twitter to shill an entirely legit and not at all potential affinity scam associated with a Middle Eastern mega-fund. Upon returning to the social media site, Gibbs posted to his extremely real and not at
Renowned on-chain analyst Willy Woo has made a surprising prediction after emerging from his apartment and catching sight of his shadow. According to Woo, this sighting confirms that the bear market in Bitcoin will persist for an additional 8 weeks. Drawing on his extensive knowledge of technical indicators and market
The Bitcoin community has been buzzing with laughter and delight over the hilarious memes created by Bitcoin Bekka. While Bekka's memes have brought joy and amusement to many, there is one disgruntled individual among the enthusiasts. Max Shaft, an avid Bitcoin writer, is frustrated that Bekka won'
MIAMI (FL) - Katie the Russian, a well-known business owner and passport saleswoman, was apprehended by Interpol at Miami International Airport (MIA) on charges of attempting to smuggle arms. The arrest unfolded as a joint operation between international law enforcement agencies, sending shockwaves through the world of illicit arms trade
What is the point of boy-band good looks and a gifted tongue if you don't use it? Bitcoin educator Ben, popularly known as BTC Sessions, is set to make waves in the Bitcoin community with a surprising announcement. Following the Bitcoin 2023 Conference, Ben will be launching a
In a spirited move to celebrate Pride Month, Mempool.space, a widely-used Bitcoin monitoring website, has made a bold and colorful statement. The platform recently announced that their mempool will undergo a fabulous transformation, embracing the vibrant spirit of the LGBTQ+ community. During the month-long celebration of Pride, users visiting
They want you to believe the Bitcoin Conference 2023 was a roaring success, but underneath a veneer of excitement lies some of the darkest and most depraved things we have covered to date. After much discussion in the editorial office, we decided it was our duty as the finest journalists
In a groundbreaking move, Marathon Digital Holdings (MARA) has unveiled a new Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) initiative in the mining space. The company has launched a mining fund exclusively dedicated to working with Black trans bitcoin miners. This bold step comes on the heels of Marathon's previous
The FDA has released a new study and community statement claiming that stacking Bitcoin can reduce penile length by up to 2 inches. The study was overseen by the FDA's Head of Research, Janet Francis, who said, "We have found a clear correlation between the amount of
In a rare move, the Mossad, the famed Israeli intelligence agency, has issued a statement distancing themselves from crypto influencer Udi Wertheimer. The statement claims that Wertheimer has no current affiliation with the agency due to his rampant shilling of shitcoins and unethical behavior tied to FTX, Luna and other